Bachelor and Bachelorette FoodQuick and tasty recipes for singles on the go — or on the stay
The idea here is to provide single people with recipes that are not only fast and easy to make and fun to eat, but also worthy of compliments should you have the opportunity to serve them to friends. Send us your favorite bachelor/bachelorette recipes. We’ll try them and post our favorites.
Welcome to Condimented’s audience participation page. Basically, we’ll show you ours if you show us yours . . . recipes, that is.
More specifically, the purpose of this page can be summed up in the following joke:
Sammy was a nice Jewish boy from Flushing Meadows, Queens. A devout man all of his life, he went to synagogue every Saturday, observed the Sabbath, was generous of spirit, and always kind in thought and deed. He lived by the golden rule, helped others even when it hurt, and never asked for any reward or credit. After a long life of good deeds, this pious man died peacefully in his sleep and found himself in heaven for his final reward. Interestingly enough, despite his apparent incorporeal being, certain remnants of human form continued, such as daily meals. It was here Sammy begun to notice something unusual.
When Sammy sat down to eat breakfast, he saw before him a bowl of cereal and milk, a slice of burnt toast, and half a glass of concentrated orange juice. Yet from his vantage point, Sammy could look down into hell and see that for breakfast, the devil was serving eggs Benedict, cheese omelettes, croissants and butter, blueberry and chocolate pancakes with butter and syrup, freshly squeezed orange juice, gourmet coffee, and mostly do his dismay, authentic New York lox and bagels with cream cheese. Not one to complain, Sammy went about his heavenly day until lunch time arrived. And there on his table was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a bowl of Ramen chicken-flavored soup, and a glass of tea. Meanwhile, down in hell, they were having delicatessen; roast beef and Swiss cheese with Russian dressing; Reuben, pastrami, and turkey club sandwiches; french fries; coleslaw; French onion soup; and cookies and coffee for desert. Sammy silently ate his humble lunch and went about his day until dinner time . . .
There on his table was slightly overcooked meatloaf, canned corn, and powdered mashed potatoes. Sammy looked down into hell to see all manner of gourmet foods being served; Beef Stroganoff, shrimp scampi, lobster tails, caviar, filet Mignon, and so on. Sammy tried to prevent the thought from creeping into his mind, “They’re in hell, I’m in heaven, and this is how I eat?” This went on for weeks until Sammy couldn’t take it anymore. Finally he mustered all of his courage and called to God, who appeared before him; a great looming specter of brilliant white light, yet with an air of infinite sadness. Sammy said, “God, I’ve been a good man, I followed your teachings, I kept the Sabbath, and I’ve never asked for anything in my life. Now here I am in heaven, and for breakfast I get cereal and burnt toast, peanut butter and jelly for lunch, and dry meatloaf for dinner. Meanwhile in hell they get eggs Benedict, delicatessen, and filet Mignon. I don’t understand, what have I done wrong?” God sighed and said (in his splendiferous font):
“I know Sammy, I know. You’ve done nothing wrong . . . I just hate cooking for one.”
Condimented’s Favorite Bachelor-Bachelorette Food Recipes