Who would imagine that stone and ground would make great mustard, let alone be spicy? Okay, stone ground mustard is made by grinding brown mustard seeds with a stone mill, which gives it a coarse texture. Beaver Spicy Stone Ground Mustard tastes great on sandwich meats, cheese (both aged and relatively young), sausages, and dark breads, such as pumpernickel, which, by the way, was named after a flatulent devil . . . well, not a specific flatulent devil. In German, “pumpern” means to break wind, and Nickel is a take on the name Nicholas, which is associated with devils and goblins.
Okay, we got a little off topic, but don’t let the bread of farting devils put you off Beaver Spicy Stone Ground Mustard, which, to flip things around, is quite heavenly on sandwiches made with pumpernickel bread, cheddar cheese, and Italian salami.
Naturally, pumpernickel begs the question, “Do deceased frat boys light farts in hell?” (Answer below)
Ans: Yes. Yes they do.
— Burnesto BoShay